Overall, things have been going well. Support raising has been encouraging and affirming as God continues to do amazing things (approaching 85%!!!). Language training is going well as I've already incorporated some of the tools and techniques from PILAT. I've been consistent in my spiritual preparations too, recently completing a 40 day fast and reaching half-way in reading through the Bible in 90 days. I've even enjoyed some vaca time, spending the last two weekends playing in Utah and Portland.
Seeing how nicely things have been going "according to plan," I was feeling confident in "my plan" and in "my abilities." This week, however, God decided to remind me how much (or little) confidence and comfort I can have in "my plans." Things started sliding a bit...inconsistencies in my daily quiet times, "perfectly planned" days weren't so perfect, and some of the excitement for missions in Japan turned into anxieties.
Nothing "bad" happened this week, but questions, concerns, and even doubts came up. As things started slipping, I realized how little control I really have, which is a scary place for me. I like being in control, knowing what's next, and having a plan for it. And as I continue to run into this pitfall mindset, God continues to serve me up nice slices of humble pie to keep me in check (the last time this happened, He had us sweat out contemplating being stranded in the Lima, Peru airport for a couple hours...).
The point is, I know that God's going to use these next couple months to "work on some issues," "straighten me out," and do some "good old-fashioned sharpening." It's gonna hurt and it's gonna be very uncomfortable...but in the end, it's gonna be good, and it's the preparation I need for ministry in Japan.
I'd like to think I'm a fast learner, but I also know that I'm stubborn...(an interesting combination, we'll see which one wins out).
Please pray for me that I'd be able to take in these lessons, to stay focused and lean on Him and His plan, to not lose it when I lose control, and to continue to press on, persevere, and look to the positive outcomes and not the trials.
(Wow, this was a long post...I need to stop doing them this late...)
It wasn't that long of a post. :) I'm glad you are all the way at 85%, but also that God is working out those issues. He has an awesome plan for you, and he knows how to get it done right!
ReplyDeleteYup, it's never easy to have issues dealt with, but in the end, His ways and plans are always the best :). God is good ALL the time.
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